Saturday, September 20, 2008

Bus Bully

Elijah (eating watermelon in this picture) experienced his first school-bus bully on Friday. It's Friday afternoon and I'm standing at the bus doors, waiting for Elijah to get off. As he walks down the bus steps, our eyes meet and he immediately starts to sob. By the time we are inside, he is too choked up to say anything- you know the kind of cry where you're choking on every word and you just can't control yourself. I start asking questions, "What happened?"
E: sob sob... yelled at me
Me: Was it a kid or an adult?
E: A kid
Me: What did he say?
E: She... it was a girl and she's like 8 or something.
Me: On the bus?
E: Yeah... more sobbing
Me: Ok, it'll be all right. Why did she yell at you?
E: She found a toy that I knew was Jacob's, so I told her, "that toy is Jacob's. You should give it back to him." Cause Mommy I know that Jacob really loves that toy.
Me: That was great buddy. I'm so glad you stuck up for Jacob. What did she say?
E: She said she was going to beat my eye until it was black if I told... (loses it again.. sobbing)
Me: (lots of hugging and consoling) You said the right thing Elijah. She shouldn't keep the toy if it doesn't belong to her, and she definitely should give it back to Jacob. You did the right thing telling her that it is Jacob's. We'll work it out. Don't worry about it OK. Lots of kids talk mean, but they really won't do anything about it. It doesn't feel good does it.
E: No...

He was really sullen for the rest of the evening off and on. Eric even asked him what was wrong while we were eating dinner, but Elijah didn't want to talk about it.

So, Eric and I talked about it later on, and we're not sure what to do. I'm thinking it kind of depends on how Elijah reacts to the idea of riding the bus after the weekend is nearing its end. His reaction will show us how severe the confrontation really was. If he's still intimidated or fearful after 2 whole days away from the situation, then it was serious enough to talk to the school about it. OR, maybe I should tell someone about it just so it's on file somewhere. I'll probably at least email his teacher and let her know, so she can be aware of the conflict.

It's such a difficult thing though, to watch your kid grow up and get hurt by the real world. If anything good does come from all of this, its that he'll definitely think twice before saying threatening words to his brothers or anyone else.


whorton94 said...

I think at least e-mailing the teacher or talking to bus driver is a great idea. We would HATE it to escalate to the point that Elijah gets hurt. What a great boy to stand up for his friend!!

Jess said...

Oh man, that story broke my heart. Definately a tough one. How was he today? Are you going to do anything?

Erin Crisp said...

He did great today. He said he saw the girl on the bus but he didn't talk to her and she didn't bug him. He seemed really fine with the whole thing.

I did email his teacher to let her know what had happened. I asked her to watch and listen for signs of fear before the PM bus because I didn't talk to him about it this morning. Eric and I didn't want to create fear where there wasn't any, so we just asked her to watch and listen. She said she'd make note of the incident and would watch him to see if he was nervous about getting on the bus.

kunderwood said...

oh, these are the moments that my heart breaks as a mom... it's not what i envisioned as part of the "job" before i had kids. it's so hard when they have to face the reality of this broken world. you really handled it all so well!

Angela said...

Oh, boy. Why do our kids have to face this? How sad that a girl that young can be so mean to others. Props to Elijah for saying the right things - - and for telling his mom what was on his heart! I'll be praying for safe bus rides.

Simile Metaphor Collection

Elijah after running: My heart is beating like a coconut rolling down a hill.
Elijah on urination: Pee is like horses galloping out of the gate. Once they get started you just can't stop them.
Elijah: If school were a human I'd give it a wedgie.
Elijah: I am like a hot rod and I just want to be a plain old Ford
Elijah on the fruits of the spirit: I've got them all covered except self-control. Its like a tiny green tomato and the rest are all big ripe ones. Especially love. Its like the biggest tomato we saw in the garden tonight.