Blogging Break

Eric reminded me tonight that it's been a long time since I've blogged. Well, you know the old, "when you don't have anything good to say..."
Yeah, that's been me lately.
It's not that life isn't great. It really is. We are so blessed. Healthy kids. Amazing kids. Jobs that provide what we need. Loving family and friends. A beautiful thriving marriage and a peaceful home. Meaningful ministry experiences etc. So why the blogging drought?

Usually, when I write, it has to be about what is occupying my head, heart and hands at the core. When I try to write about the periphery of my being, it ends up sounding fake and contrived- write, read, press delete, go to bed.
Such has been the routine for the past month.
So what is at the core these days? Just my own impatience. That's all. Its God working on me during our early morning jogs together. It sounds something like this, plodding along in the chilly, fall darkness.

"Less of me God, more of You. Less of me God, more of You. Teach me to love God, let them see You. Less of me God, more of You." Over and over and over. I've tried other words, and they don't seem right.
The rhythm of my feet, my breath, these thoughts, my heart, the fading stars, the growing dawn, it all seems to fit.

Then throughout my day... when I've tried to give the same set of 5 minute directions to a group of 30, 13 year olds 5 times in a row and they can't seem to close their mouths long enough to listen to one simple set of directions, when the multitude of their voices drowns out any hope of us getting through the carefully planned and prepared lesson, when the 15th person asks me 'what page?' and it's written on the board behind me. "Less of me God, more of You."

When yet another teeny girl looks at me with her naive brown eyes and snaps, "I'm not doin this. Its dumb" and she's the 4th one that day... "Less of me God, more of You."

When a gangsta-wanna-be who had been doing so well suddenly stops coming to school then returns and has as much interest in school work as I have in earthworms and I just want to cry for him... "Less of me God, more of You."

That's it. For a whole month, that's all I've had to say that wouldn't be pride, impatience, whining, groaning, or fake.
Prayers are always appreciated. :)

Adventures of a Stay-at-Home Dad

I wanted to post some pictures I have captured in my time staying at home with the boys the last couple of months. The boys are getting big and do and say SO many funny things. It always keeps life interesting and I can't imagine loving three boys any more than I love my boys!

Here is Isaiah's costume before he insisted on being the "White Shadow." You can't really see the tears beginning to smear his face paint but he is DEFINITELY NOT happy.

If you look carefully you can see that Elijah is laying on the floor with the phone resting on his ear. He must have gotten tired of holding it while he was talking to his Nana. I didn't think this long term talking innovation happened until adolescence. He must be advanced.

But this is where I found him talking on the phone with it resting on his ear. He is laying under Micah's bed.

Would you ever think that THIS homework page would be the incentive? These are the pages we have to save until last for Micah because these are the pages he wants to do. Who is this child!?

This is Micah suffering through the pages he has to color and paste.

The boys spend most of their free time jumping on the trampoline and this time of year the static electricity is hair-raising. We have had a great summer, they are growing up and seeming so old this fall, and the I'm sure the winter has a lot of fun in store!

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Micah Sings Gospel ABCs

Love love love. Lotsa love in the Crisp house these days. We're in a good groove. Quality time with each little boy daily, opportunity for the occasional date, reading nightly, homework after dinner, great conversations, and reasonable levels of stress for both Mommy and Daddy.

I love it when Micah sings because he is so intense. He wants to get it all just right!

In other news, Elijah's soccer team is about to play their championship game next weekend. They are undefeated. I haven't posted much about it because he has only chosen to play a handful of times. He actually had one really good game, but he hasn't played again since (by his choice, not the coach's). He's a tough cookie to figure out- he wants to be there but doesn't want to play. You gotta love him.

Its report card season and everyone is doing well in school. Micah's strengths seem to be just about everything except for gym. Elijah's strengths are definitely in math and problem solving. Isaiah's strengths are everything except for the occasional potty accident. Hopefully that'll clear up before junior high. We love the young men that these boys are becoming. Micah broke down in tears when I jokingly pretended to cry recently, Elijah thanked me for forgiving him after he disobeyed recently, and Isaiah sits on my lap and chats about his day for as long as I'll have him. Home life is good... and we want to see the rest of our families soon!

My Education Rant

Today in a meeting at school with all of the 8th grade teachers and our fearless leaders, we were asked to watch a 10 minute clip of General McChrystal being interviewed by Dan Rather. The general was expressing that the war in Afghanistan was progressing, but just much too slowly. At every post he visits, he hears, "We're making progress," but when he delves into, "What progress," it is a very small step toward the end goals. There were numerous shots of McChrystal pep talking his men on the dangers of becoming complacent with small gains. "We must see more progress or we'll be here a hundred years."

What does this have to do with education? Our superintendent of schools, Stu, knows what he's doing. He has transformed under-performing schools into top-achieving schools in record time. The video was his way of pep-talking us I suppose. I think we were supposed to walk away with a renewed sense of purpose, with energy and determination to "wage war on the achievement gap." (Stu's words) And for some teachers in the room, maybe it worked.

But for me, I'm left dissatisfied and aching in the pit of my stomach. After the video, we were given color printouts listing students we are to target. This is our battle plan. We're not to stop teaching everyone else, but we are to hone in on this group of students, carefully grouped for us, color coded and graphed. It makes sense right? If your troops are overwhelmed and making small amounts of progress, you zero in on key areas where you need to gain control; get the job done there, and then spread out. I get it. Maybe I'm just not wired for this kind of thing because here's all I can think about.

I have 18 kids on my 'target' list. They aren't the 18 lowest performing kids or the 18 kids who have the poorest reading scores. They are students who are just a few points away from making it to the magic number on the state test and their subgroup information couldn't be clearer.

It is suggested that our time would be best spent on the kids who fit more than one and preferably more than two subgroup populations. For example, a student who is Hispanic, receives special education services and is on free and reduced lunch should receive more of my focus than another student of the same reading level who is white, has no identified disability and is not on free and reduced lunch.

Of course, no administrator would ever admit that their intention is to provide better educational opportunities to some kids based on their belonging to a subgroup population- but the message is none-the-less clear. 1) We're expected to somehow pull aside low performing students into small groups for specialized instruction that meets their needs while maintaining high levels of instruction overall. 2) There are too many needy students to be effective with all of them all at once. Ergo- maximize your efforts on the students that "count" in closing the achievement gap. And with Stu's track record of success, this is probably the best way. I'm just not made for this.

It's not that I don't enjoy the low performing kids. I love them. And I love the subgroup kids and the gifted kids and the creative thinkers and the linear thinkers. I want to teach them all, and I can't. That's what makes me crazy. If I'm focused on the subgroup kids, my lesson planning for the large group suffers, and my lessons are good but not great. And if I'm planning great lessons for everyone (large group and subgroup), my grading suffers and students aren't getting timely feedback on their work. And let's say by some miracle that I get caught up on grading, and my lesson planning is still great, then I'm certainly not having time to spend with my own family or participate in any extra curricular activities myself. (Like writing this blog for example)

So to Stu, I appreciate him and I think he is a valiant and courageous leader, but I'd just like to remind him of one thing. General McChrystal's ultimate solution is 40,000 more troops in Afghanistan.

OK, rant over. More pictures and video of kids to come soon.

Isaiah sings

I've been trying to record video of each of the boys singing. So far I've been successful with Zay and Micah. Elijah's is hardest to catch because he doesn't like an audience to his vocal talent and it usually involves lots of crazy dancing. Isaiah learned this song at school and sings it around the house often. And I love the paradox of cute songs while playing with potentially dangerous fake plastic weapons. Zay and I are the only 2 people in this house looking forward to snowy weather. :)

Lauren Winners

Amberly introduced me to her (Lauren Winners), and I've been doing some reading up on her. What an accomplished and thoughtful lady she seems to be. I found this list from a recent conference where she spoke, and I thought it was interesting.
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Twenty-One Things the World Will Say About Christians

Lauren Winner shares her vision during the Christianity21 conference.

by Hollie Baker-Lutz

Friends, I'm up late in a hotel room writing what is too good not to share, just like any good live-blogger does. Day One of the Christianity21 conference in Minneapolis has been full of provocative ideas, revelations, and creativity. I spent the chilly afternoon sipping Peace Coffee (I stepped on an ICE patch in the parking lot, thank you very much), listening to 21-minute sessions, and limping under the weight of my computer bag as I interviewed greats like Phyllis Tickle and Mimi Haddad (more reasons to stay tuned to Kyria in the months ahead!). While I can't describe every way the Lord is working in one late-night blog post, I'd like to share Lauren Winner's 21 characteristics that - if we all are faithful now - the world will say about Christians by the end of this century. In other words, she hopes that the average person on the street in the year 2092 might think of these qualities when asked what Christians are like.

By the end of the 21st century, Christians will...
1. Be peacemakers.
2. Be expected to be the first ones to show up when disaster strikes.
3. Rest, because they know they're not the ones in charge.
4. While resting, reconfigure their work.
5. Live well in their bodies, whether by their diet, their sex lives, or the clothes they wear.
6. Practice boredom. They will not succumb to the "fetish of the new or the cult of novelty" when it comes to their faith.

7. Be truth-tellers, even if the answer is "I don't know." Even "authenticity" and confession can be a pose.
8. Practice silence in small and big ways, including in solitude.
9. Live in communities where everyone has access to power, and everyone can and will share it with others.
10. Live in communities where women can do anything.
11. Go to church with the people they live near.
12. Persist in making Kingdom demands. This means taking the same request to God, over and over!
13. When we think about God, we think about what needs to change next. This is largely informed by Tozer: what we think about when we think about God is the most important thing about ourselves.
14. Eat fewer strawberries. We will tread lightly on the planet and not risk the energy and harm to our planet just so we can have strawberries in January.
15. See ourselves as small characters in a larger story. As Winner's colleagues at Duke suggest, a "saint" can fail in a way that a "hero" cannot, which opens the doors to ideas like forgiveness and new possibilities of God.
16. Lament. ("We don't do this well. Jews do it a bit better.")
17. Throw good parties. Afterall, we're here to practice for the heavenly banquet!
18. Not gossip. This means talking about someone who is not present. Period.
19. Have unity without obliterating diversity, and that's because of the Trinity.
20. Understand something about grace (despite our 19 wonderful attributes above).
21. Describe reality and the spiritual sacraments in such a way as to "make mouths water and hearts hunger."

Many thanks to Lauren Winner for these prophetic words."

Micah

Micah laughs at the Cosby Show- hard. I love that about him since it is one of my most favoritest shows of all time!

This has nothing to do with the Cosby Show really. We were just watching it tonight, he was lying next to me on the bed and I heard him murmuring just under his breath- "Levit, itic, iticus. Lev... it... ic... us. Leviticus. Numbers. Deuteronomy." I said, "Do you know the books of the Bible?" He said, "Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth." Then he smiled one of those huge accomplished smiles. :)

I'm so thankful for caring teachers at church.