Friday, May 23, 2008

Bodily Functions

If poop and puke nauseate you, consider skipping this post, but it is a pretty good story.

Wednesday night all three boys were taking a bath in the fabulous, jetted tub in our new bathroom. I was in the kitchen on the phone and Eric had run downstairs for a minute to get a book from the office and was on his way back up the stairs. We both heard a weird scream from Elijah, and then way too quiet. Eric got to the bathroom seconds later and I figured he would be able to handle it until I hear him yell, "A little help in here please!" I hurry to the bathroom, thinking the worst, of course, and I see Elijah first, dripping wet and naked puking into the toilet. Then I notice the HUGE puddle of puke dripping over the side of the fabulous, jetted tub in our new bathroom and onto the white bath rug. The stench is overwhelming, so I take a step back and ask Eric, "What happened? Is he sick?" Eric says, "No, Isaiah pooped in the tub." I look over to see Isaiah, looking completely bewildered, poop floating in the water next to him, staring at the stream of puke still spewing from Elijah. I grab towels, wrap Elijah in one when I'm pretty sure he's done and Eric carries him to the other bathroom while I get Isaiah out of the nasty tub, wrap him up and take him to the other bathroom as well.

The funniest moment was seeing Micah all alone, sitting in the poop and puke infested water with a grin on his face. Elijah pukes at the sight of poop, and here Micah is almost smiling at the flurry of activity he has just witnessed. All the time I'm helping him out and wrapping him up, he is pointing to the puke, describing the chunks and guessing at what the various particles might have once been. He doesn't seem to be the least bit disgusted by it all. Strange.

Anyway, I re-bathed all 3 boys in the other bathroom and put them to bed while Eric cleaned up the poopy/pukey tub. Elijah seemed fine, but I gave him a snack to replace the dinner he'd just lost and even as I was turning out the light in their room, Micah was still asking Elijah what the white chunks where. He was not in the mood to talk about it, which actually helped our going-to-sleep issues quite a bit.

So, that was our Monday night adventure. Don't you wish you'd been here?


Jess said...

You didn't happen to mention if Eric fainted - after our talk in IN - I thought for sure that would be part of the story. I guess Elijah has Eric's childhood gag reflex. Thanks for sharing - a good poop/puke story is always good for a laugh.

John said...


What, no pictures?!?

Love y'all,
Nana & Papa

Kim and Joel said...

O my goodness! I read this to people at work and I was crying because I was laughing so hard. Maybe it's just because us nurses have some weird fascination with poop and puke stories! thanks for a great laugh!

Shoemaker Family said...

That might be one of the funniest things I've ever read!!! I couldn't even read it to Sep I was laughing so hard...great story telling, Erin!!!

Simile Metaphor Collection

Elijah after running: My heart is beating like a coconut rolling down a hill.
Elijah on urination: Pee is like horses galloping out of the gate. Once they get started you just can't stop them.
Elijah: If school were a human I'd give it a wedgie.
Elijah: I am like a hot rod and I just want to be a plain old Ford
Elijah on the fruits of the spirit: I've got them all covered except self-control. Its like a tiny green tomato and the rest are all big ripe ones. Especially love. Its like the biggest tomato we saw in the garden tonight.