Monday, December 22, 2008

Holidays Day 1

Everyone was home all day today (except for either myself or Eric). I worked early this morning buy came home to work because there was no heat in our offices- BRRRRRR- so Eric went to work instead. I decided it was a good day to go "unplugged" because the boys had enjoyed lots of weekend TV for 2 days. We turned off the TV soon after I got home and I told them there would be no TV or computer for the rest of the day. After minimal whining (from Micah mostly) they were fine with that.

Then, predictably, the fighting started. It is a regularly occurring phenomena with our children that after several days of heavier than normal screen time (2-4 hours I'd say) they have forgotten how to interact with one another. I'd compare it to what happens to me when I drink 3-5 cups of coffee every day for 5 days and then go a whole day with none. And it's not your normal kind of fighting either. It's the kind of fighting that has no reasonable cause. It's the kind of fighting that makes me wonder what savage beasts invaded the brains of my intelligent sons.

To illustrate this point, picture the following scenario. I'm folding laundry in our bedroom, and I can hear Elijah in the spare bedroom, screaming at the top of his lungs, "It's a tree! It's a tree!" (Pause) "Ahhhhhhrghhhh, NO MICAH! IT's a TREE!!!" This continues for several minutes.

I let it go for a bit, hoping they could resolve on their own. But again, "ARRRGHHHH! MICAH, It's MY TREE!... You're making me REALLY REALLY MAD Micah. ....(Pause, calm words from Micah that I can't hear) ARGHHHH, I REALLY want to PUNCH you right now!"

OK, time to intervene before I end up cleaning up blood or bruises. I walk into the room, "What's going on?"

I'll pause here briefly to describe the scene. Elijah is stretched out on the bed. There is a quilt on the bed that has leafy, flowery print, and he is covering as much of the design as possible with his skinny 6 year old body. Micah is curled up at the top of the bed, sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees.

Elijah: Mommy! (Tears, angry red face, he is ticked!) This is a tree!
Me: OK, the bed is a tree. Great! So why are you screaming at Micah?
Elijah: Micah is sitting in the tree!
Me: Can't you share your tree? It's a pretty big tree for 2 little boys.
Elijah: But he can't sit in the tree. He's a duck. Ducks don't sit in trees.
Me: Micah? Are you a duck?
Micah: Yeah, but I want to sit in the tree with Elijah. He's a monkey.
Elijah: See Mommy? Monkeys live in trees and ducks don't sit in trees. They can't. They have webbed feet!

Hilariously enough, Elijah is still fuming mad at this point. Furious that his duck brother would dare try to sit in his pretend blanket tree while he pretends to be a monkey.

Me: Well, technically ducks are birds, so maybe Micah is a special duck that can sit in trees.
Elijah: No! No! No! Look Micah, you have all that water down there. No get off! (Pointing to the blue blanket on the floor)
Micah: Elijah Elijah... wait... can I be a different bird- not a duck so I can stay in the tree?
Elijah: (Immediately sits up, tone changes completely, sweet as can be) Sure. Maybe you could be a hawk. Hawks are awesome, they....

I just walked away- back to the laundry. Of course! Why hadn't I thought of that. Just be a different kind of bird so that you can sit on a flowery blanket that is apparently an anti-duck tree. Micah has already learned to deal with Elijah's imagination better than I do sometimes.

By 1:00, all fighting had ceased and everyone played wonderfully for the rest of the day. No more screen withdrawal. I wish I could recover from caffeine addiction that quickly. :)


amberly said...

toooo funny! :)

Jess said...

Totally sounds like out kids. I was just saying to Josh that Olivia and Garrett have figured out how to play together again. Olivia being at school really messed them up. But after many days at home they've picked up where they left off. Merry Christmas.

Simile Metaphor Collection

Elijah after running: My heart is beating like a coconut rolling down a hill.
Elijah on urination: Pee is like horses galloping out of the gate. Once they get started you just can't stop them.
Elijah: If school were a human I'd give it a wedgie.
Elijah: I am like a hot rod and I just want to be a plain old Ford
Elijah on the fruits of the spirit: I've got them all covered except self-control. Its like a tiny green tomato and the rest are all big ripe ones. Especially love. Its like the biggest tomato we saw in the garden tonight.